笑话一【Tell a lie】说谎
Mom: "Which banana do you want, Victor?"
Victor: "I want that one of the greatest."
Mom: "Victor, you should be polite, to have that little one."
Victor: "Mom, I must lie to be polite?"
笑话二【I Don't Like an Argument】我不想争论
Gerald, asked the teacher, what is the shape of the earth?
It's round, answered Gerald.
How do you know it's round? continued the teacher.
All right, it's square then, he replied, I really don't feel like getting into an argument about it!
笑话三【Two Birds】 两只鸟
Teacher: Here are two birds, one is a swallow, the other is sparrow. Now who can tell us which is which?
Student: I cannot point out but I know the answer.
Teacher: Please tell us.
Student: The swallow is beside the sparrow and the sparrow is beside the swallow.
Three turtles decided to have a cup of coffee. Just as they got into the cafe, it started to rain.
The biggest turtle said to the smallest one, " Go home and get the umbrella."
The little turtle replied, "I will, if you don't drink my offee."
"We won't," the other two promised.
Two years later the big turtle said to the middle turtle, "Well, I guess he isn't coming back, so we might as well drink his coffee."
Just then a voice called from outside the door, "If you do, I won't go."
Teacher: What is the chemical formula ofwater?
Teacher: What are you talking about?
Student: Yesterday you said H to O.